Post by RUFIO BOVIDAE on Oct 1, 2011 16:43:40 GMT
October 1st
So, my first journal entry. It's...weird, a lot has happened and I probably should have been documenting it, but I never really thought about it until now.
I guess I was worried about what people would think of me , but then I guess you have to worry about that every day anyway, don't you?
I had my first kiss, I guess it could have been worse...maybe! Well, it wasn't all bad, it was just the drama after it that's make me lose any confidence I had in myself. I mean, am I a bad kisser? Was that it? Or does Micah really not have any feelings at all? Even a friend would have stayed to explain...or let me explain.
I think he blames me for it, mostly because people are attacking him and not me, when I know I was equally to blame. I wish I hadn't done it, I've lost my best friend over a kiss. It's horrible, and Simon is not helping in the slightest.
I'm just tired of being alone all the time, people seem so comfortable with sex and relationships around here and I'm just...not. I don't want to be pressured into it either. I'm just not ready. I know it seems silly, at my age, but I don't want to feel like I have to have sex with /someone/ to become a 'cool' person. Y'know?
Life is nothing to do with how many people you can sleep with.
I'd much rather have a girlfriend or boyfriend who didn't mind having a bit of fun, building forts in the pillows, watching movies until midnight, making cookies, travelling the world in my campervan.
I don't want to have sex.
Not yet.
I think I need to work on my confidence first, but for now. Have a silly picture and a video of me singing my song, 'Sugar'
Rufio
x
pleaseignoretheadvert
