Which you are, 99% of the time [Oakley]

[RYAN MITCHELL]

Lately, things for Ryan had become a bit complicated. Which they always were, but it was different now. He cared, and that made him weak in so many departments, what happened to the old Ryan? The strong, I don't need anyone kind of Ryan? Right. Oakley James. Someone that made him turn his head because he sought she was a challenge, and want and desire turned into what? Need. She made him feel weak, the slightest insult could catch him off guard ,but most of all what she would do was, throw up Teddy in his face. What did that mean?

Now, he decided he'd run away from problems that he came to conclusion with at this very night. Ryan knew it all depended on his parents, what they said about it, and mostly they would say yes if he had a plan to keep college on hold. It wasn't like he was going to be in Paris for a month or so, it would be a trip to clean himself, regain the true meaning of the name Ryan Mitchell.

Ryan stood at his closet and pulled out the last piece to his outfit, a vest which he would leave unbuttoned over the white shirt. Next, he'd walk to his mirror and look at himself. Usually, his thoughts would be cocky, but now he was just nervous. He'd never done this before, and didn't know the exact way to go about asking Oakley a question, that he was almost sure she would find most difficult, but with further reasoning and understanding, maybe she would find it less stressful.

Inhaling a deep breath and closing his eyes for a moment, he leaned his forehead against the wall hoping for the best and then headed his way to Oakley's dorm, and of course with his luck, he passed a couple giggling and joking about as they walked down the path.

When Ryan arrived at the door, instead of knocking, he let himself in and shut the door quietly before looking around for Oakley and finding her, there he would take a deep settling breath once again. "Before I ask you, I want you to say the first answer that pops into your head. No thinking. Just saying."

Outfit: Here

[OAKLEY JAMES]

Oakley had never really cared for the words "We need to talk about things". Ever since she was young, she had grown to learn that those words were rather suicidal to anything, and Ryan typing them in the chat made Oakley's stomach churn. She wasn't exactly sure what he was going to say though. He seemed serious, like something was wrong yet again but inside, the brunette beauty knew she had done nothing wrong this time. So what could he possibly want to talk about? 

Sighing heavily as she pushed away fro her computer after giving him the okay to come over for a quick chat, Oakley made her way over to the small couch in her single dorm room, huffing as she sat down. She wasn't in the mood to fight with him. Actually, all she wanted was to have a beer in her hand and have a good time, but it seemed her plans were going to be changed. It wasn't like she could say no to him. She had learned that about herself in the last week, realizing she was too soft to reject the poor boy. Dammit...

The ideas of what he was going to say rang through her mind as she sat there. Was he going to move to Europe? Did he want her approval? What? What was it that he wanted to talk about? Shrugging to herself, she decided to just wait it out, and with that thought came the sound of footsteps into the dorm.

Her eyes wandered over to the door and watched intently as The all-too-familiar face crept towards her. He looked sort of distraught and it made Oakley uneasy. Standing to meet him, she gave him a slight smile, almost welcoming, but not quite, and crossed her arms over her chest. Listening to him, the smile faded and her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Pondering the command, she shook her head in protest with a laugh. "I'm not going to just answer a question without knowing what I'm answering to, babe..." she trailed off, giving him one last look and knowing that would cause another argument that was better off unsaid. "Ugh, fine....yes." she said without thinking, a commanded of her. "But don't hold it against me if I change my answer." she finished. Please don't be one of those deep questions...He knows how much I hate those...right?

[RYAN MITCHELL]

Usually Ryan would get pissed and pop off at her remarks, but right now he just could not do that. Or care enough about the remarks. He knew that that was how their relationship was, "I hate you but wait I certainly do not?" It wasn't confusing for the two who played the game, but for people out side of their point of views no doubt looked at them as two idiots fighting non-stop. Never did they realize that Oakley and Ryan liked it that way, and that was probably the only way they would work as anything. So, instead, Ryan rose his hand to scratch over the corner of his brow as he looked down at the floor, waiting for her to be done with her attempt to avoid this conversation or whatever it was she was trying to do.

As she agreed, Ryan nodded and leaned against the wall, arms crossed and his temple resting against the wall, this action was then followed by him giving a huff as he mentally told himself "Well here we go". His brows farrowed and pushed together as he closed his eyes trying to find some kind of courage to not back out of the question he wanted to ask. For sure it'd show his weakness.

"I just wanna know...what would you say if Mr. Monroe asked you to be his..girlfriend or whatever." He said simply and slowly, processing and regretting every word that flew out of his mouth right then. Now, she'd just have to answer simply. Ryan's eyes now opened and his face was more relaxed as he looked down at her.

[OAKLEY JAMES]

What would you say if Mr. Munroe asked you to be his girlfriend?

It wasn't like she hadnt expected this sudden question from Ryan. After all, they fought all the time about her relationship with Teddy, and it only made sense for him to be curious. However, Oakley still was taken aback as he uttered the words. She hadn't exactly expected him to ask it now, just as he was about to up and leave for Europe or whatever he planned on doing. That wasn't her problem though. Her problem was how to actually answer it. 

Would she say yes? Could she see herself being a ball and chain to someone seven years older than her? At first thought, she wanted to say no. Believe it or not, she thought it would be nice to have that, but when it came down to it, she really didn't know how to participate in such a relationship. She was a very bad seed. She couldn't stay with one guy for more than a few weeks(and that was a record.). She wasn't caring, she wasn't loving, she wasn't anything but merely something to fool around with. But, apparently Teddy brought out a new side to her because she wanted to change. She wanted to replace his deceased true love. She wanted to be that for him. But, she still couldn't see herself making the commitment.

Oakley bit her lip as she thought over the question, mentally balancing out the pros and cons over and over. Why was he even asking anyway? Why did it even matter? Looking back up after a few moments of avoiding Ryan's eyes, Oakley decided with a shrug. "I don't know..." she mumbled, nonchalantly. "I have NO idea what I would say." she added, mentally kicking herself for being the way she was. Why couldn't she be a normal girl and be with someone she liked? Something must've been wrong. But what? "What's it to you anyway?" she said, not in her usually snappiness, but out of curiousity

[RYAN MITCHELL]

To Ryan, Oakley didn't have to say it. She didn't have to say anything matter of fact. It was pretty obvious. Ryan kind of wished he was a idiot and couldn't read body language or the real words in a sentence. Usually, he could use it to his advantage, maybe ruin a view lives by manipulating with questions in which, he could pry out and eventually get them to say their flaws, but this time just sucked ass. Bad ass.

She was avoiding looking at him, her voice had lost that touch of acid that could burn your heart, it was written all over her face, and before she could even say it, Ryan was already mentally preparing himself for a bullshit answer, in which she would-did give a second or two later. As she would say it, his heart had a repeating jab feeling to it, and his eyes would look up above her, away from her. All he could tell himself was, this is it, you should have never let your guard down to like someone, Ryan. He let a cold disappointed smile slightly spread across his face and looked down at his feet now pushing off of the wall.

"Stupid me, actually thought that you found that teacher boring, since all he does is grade papers all the time, leaving you stranded on the fucking chat to talk to me." The words left his lips with no reasoning to follow the mumble, not to hurt or cause a fight, it was just how he felt. Flexing his jaw, he shoved his hands into his pockets and stared up at the ceiling for a moment, gathering himself and then nodding. "Here. I'll make it easy then. He's the only choice you have. This time, don't even bother to try and cause a fight."

I'm so fucking done with you, Oakley James. He thought to himself, and turned around rubbing his forehead with his fingertips as he tried to just forget these days that even included her then made his way to the door.

[OAKLEY JAMES]

She didn't actually think he'd be mad with her answer. In fact, she specifically said it in such a neutral way, she thought that he would merely drop the question. But, as Oakley rose her eyes to look at him, she realized Ryan could see right through her. Mentally kicking herself, she bit her lip and shrugged after a moment before he spoke.

As he did, she realized something was different about him. He was upset. Not angry, upset. He looked plagued by a certain pain. It hurt her herself. But, then she felt angry. At what point did she lead him to believe she thought Teddy was boring? Sure, he was a teacher. Sure, he didn't spend too much time with her, but when they did it was fun. Ryan didn't understand. "You don't know him." she said defensively, almost in a yell. She hadn't intended on screaming, but she was mad. This wasn't how tonight should have gone. 

"Ryan, I...Wait." she said, an outstretched arm reaching for his bicep and pulling him away from the door and back to her. "What did you come here for? Really? What if I didn't like him? What if I said no? What then?" she said, looking at his face intently. She wanted to know. He couldn't come here and just up and leave because he didn't hear the answer he wanted. But what exactly did he want her to say?

[RYAN MITCHELL]

The same thing kept playing through Ryan's head. I'm so stupid, I'm so stupid, I am so fucking stupid.. He was so hurt. So angry. How could she just stand there and say Ryan didn't know him. Who cares to know him? It wouldn't have changed how he felt. Some teacher, would not change the feelings he had for Oakley, even if she was a bitch all the time. Honestly, he didn't know which one to be, angry or hurt. Right. Angry to her face, and hurt inside.

Ryan cringed as Oakley wrapped her hand around his bicep turning him to her. Right now, he didn't want anything of her around him. All he wanted was her to get away. Ryan's eyes finally dropped down to hers as she asked the lined up questions of what if's. So hard did he try to keep on the angry face and impression, but before he knew it, his true feelings and answers to the question begun coming from his mouth. It wasn't like he'd have to deal with her ever again after this.

"I came here, for you to tell me that you feel the same way I do about you. I came here, to see if you thought about me all of the time, even if we don't fight. I came here to see if you had feelings besides fighting with me to get your anger out and having sex." He said in a up tone voice. He was pretty sure, his face and tone could give off the fact that he was hurt. But he really didn't care right now. For a moment, he let that sink into both of their minds, his eyes peering down at her with some kind of look of "how could you", but in all honesty. He knew how Oakley was, and he still let himself feel for her. Care for her. Stupid.

Closing his eyes for a moment he sighed and then opened his eyes to look at hers again. "If you would have said no...I wouldn't be leaving for Paris, I wouldn't be regretting everything, I wouldn't be telling myself I am so stupid for feeling for a bitch and actually taking her shit, thinking that she in some state of mind felt the same way." Ryan said in another rush of air, continuing to get it all out, but this time his eyes softened as well as his voice and lowered. "I'd want you more. I'd care more...I'd be willing to be anything you wanted. Fuck buddy, friend, boyfriend.. Just if ..If..you would have told me that you would not say yes to him."

[OAKLEY JAMES]

Gritting her teeth more with each word that Ryan spoke, the guilty feeling began coming over the distressed brunette as she watched him spill every single thing he'd kept inside. It wasn't like him, and it was almost painful to watch, too much to handle. Every single bit.  This wasn't supposed to happen. He was supposed to say he doesn't care. He was supposed to "just wonder". He wasn't suppose to feel anything for her because as he said, she was a bitch, and it was like planning your own funeral. He obviously didn't understand that. Teddy didn't even understand that. Maybe Oakley didn't either.

She didn't realize she had led them on the way she had. Then again, she had somewhat let her guard down for both of them. She showed her nice side, she made it known that she cared, and here she was with two poor guys willing to do anything for her, be whatever she wanted them to be. Ryan wasn't the stupid one here, Oakley was. Swallowing hard, Oakley let her eyes drop from his gaze, ashamed. She had turned Ryan, mister hard-ass bad boy into this. All by simply being herself. Didn't he understand that she wasn't good for him? 

Shaking her head in disbelief, she wiped the first fallen tear away quickly before looking back up at him, her eyes hard, cold. She couldn't show him how hurt she was by this sudden change in Ryan. She couldn't get sucked in. It was so hard not to just change her mind right there, be with him, be with both of them, but she couldn't. That would cause a huge blow-up. People were risking things here. She couldn't let anyone down. "Ryan, why? Why now! You knew I was going to be with Teddy but you didn't do anything. Could you not have told me sooner? Maybe this wouldn't be so fucking hard for me if you had! She yelled, not caring that she was disturbing her neighbors. "Look..." she said, walking over to her bed and pulling out her journal, throwing it at him. She didn't care if it hurt. She half-wanted it to. He was too late. Why was he late?

Sitting on her bed, she looked down at her feet. "Read it. Its the only way you'll know how I felt...how I feel..." she said. She was nervous. Everything, all of her feelings, all of her secrets were in there and she was letting someone who now hated her to read it. It was a stupid idea, but she wanted him to really understand her feelings. Maybe it would stop him from going to Paris.

[RYAN MITCHELL]

Another train of un-believable bullshit came flying out of Oakley's mouth. Such words that pissed Ryan off beyond belief. Standing there he would let her finish, but the heat of his body boiling was bouncing right off of him. In this moment of time, his eyes darkened and he tilted his head down looking up from under his eye lashes.

"Are you fucking kidding me, Oakley James?" His voice was still calm, but not for long since the next words came flying out of his mouth, defiantly causing a scary roar. "Are you really going to just sit here and say that I should have came sooner? Did you even think of what you just said to me?" Shaking his head now he looked away giving a cold laugh for a brief moment and then looking back at Oakley. "You just said, if I KNEW you were going to be with him, why didn't I come tell you sooner?" Yeah, let me let you think about that for a moment...

"You let me know, why the hell I would tell you ANYTHING if I knew you were going to be with him. If you knew you were going to be with him, why did you drag me on? Why did you actually make me think you cared?" He said in a point making tone before catching the journal and then flipping to the last page she wrote. That's all he would need to know. How did she feel right now? The reason was, if Ryan read all of the other pages, there might be a chance he'd find something good, and fall for her benefit.

After reading it, his eyes clearly began to water, but that was all. Swallowing the lump in his throat, Ryan's eyes stayed on the journal as he closed it and then handed it back to Oakley with a nod and a soft tone "That's all I needed to know. I guess I'm glad for you. That it's so easy...That I could be dropped like I'm nothing." Nodding once again, Ryan moved closer in the distance and placed his right hand on the base of Oakley's neck, gently stroking her jawline. Leaning down now, Ryan pressed his lips softly to her cheek and then pulled away some, now looking into her eyes. "Leave me alone." He mumbled and then pulled away fully before walking to the door , this time not hesitating to leave and close the door behind him. No looks back, no nothing.

Paris will be better...

[OAKLEY JAMES]

Oakley could feel her heart beating faster and faster as he opened the small notebook, watching him with horror as he skipped pretty much to the only page she didn't want him to see, the last one. He wasn't getting it. Throughout that whole book, there were so many nice things that she had said; things that would make him realize that she still did care. It was too late though. He was already done with it, with her. Catching the notebook and laying it next to her, she looked up at him as he screamed, her eyes still cold and harsh. She was mad now. She didn't want him there. Ever. But, she didn't want him to walk out that door. 

She decided not to say anything as he yelled at her, keeping her eyes to her feet. She wasn't exactly sure what to say. He was right about everything. Every little thing he said, she could tell exactly why he was mad. Who wouldn't be mad at her? She deliberately led him on. She wanted him to fall for her. It was her favorite game. But now, she didn't know what she wanted. She half wanted to hug him and say she was sorry, say she didn't mean to, but also wanted to push him out of her life forever and never speak to him again. What to do, what to do?

As his lips met her cheek, she held her breath, trying to keep herself together. Why was he doing this. He couldn't act like he was sweet, and then sharply demand her to keep away. She hated when he did that, but she supposed she deserved it. As he walked out, she watched him leave, feeling a wave of relief rush over her. She was left to herself so she could cry, finally. But, then she realized where he was headed. Paris. She didn't want that. She wasn't through with him. Standing up, she walked out of her dorm and chased after the boy. "RYAN. Stop.....You're not nothing to me...." she admitted, avoiding his eyes still. He wouldn't care, but she wanted him to know. "I wouldn't waste my time with you if you didn't matter to me. You did. You still do! And I know, it's not the answer you wanted. I'm terrible for you, Ryan. You don't want me. I'm sure you know that now, but..." she paused looking up at him with sad eyes and continued. "I don't know what else to say." she finished, not bothering getting closer to him. She couldn't. If she did, she'd end up giving into him and changing her mind. That was how fragile her feelings were for him. And Teddy. Sighing heavily, she shrugged. "Why don't you go find Victoria...or Mitchie. I'm sure they can give you more than I can." she whispered bitterly. 

[RYAN MITCHELL]

Ryan should have known to run away from the girl. He knew how Oakley is, and if the girl didn't get her way, she chased after it. It was the many things he adored of her, but right now she was only making things worse. Did she love this? Making him hurt more and more in front of her eyes? Right, she probably did. He was nothing after all. Just a toy to play with. This picture was such a cliche though, the girl running after the guy, all they needed was some rain to fall down.

Turning around slowly, Ryan looked at her again, this time a begging look in his eyes. He really wanted her to just stop, even though it hurt him so much that the moment she did, it would all be over, and she would be in the teacher's arms. The guy she always wanted. "Stop trying to sugar coat this, Oakley!" In the corner of his eye, he could see a few disturbed people walk by, but he didn't care, he wouldn't be here much longer. "You're right. I wasn't nothing. I was a toy to you. Someone to play with, until you realized you found prince charming!"

Ryan swallowed the lump in his throat before continuing "That's the thing though, I do want you even though you're poison, and I guess, from this picture, from your new boyfriend, I realized that I do need to go somewhere, and it isn't to some other person. It's a place." Suck in of a deep breath. "You can't have both of us, and it's clear you want him more.." In a cliche kind of moment, Ryan got this sudden urge to do one thing. Ryan walked up to Oakley, placed his hands on each side of her neck, one thumb ran from her jawline to her lips in which he traced with his thumbs fingertip as he looked down at her lips and then back to her eyes. Ryan then leaned down and kissed her, probably for the last time, and he sure as hell made sure that it was a kiss she'd never forget.

[OAKLEY JAMES]

Oakley knew this was a bad idea from the moment she exited her dorm. Chasing after some guy was NOT her thing, and she knew it would probably have been better if she sat on her bed and just let him fly off to a different country. Maybe she thought telling him that he could do better would make him leave with no hard feelings. Boy, was she wrong.

She listened to him talk, disagreeing by shaking her head after each word. Sure, he was a toy in the beginning. Hey, she was a toy to him, too back then. But overtime, he was more than that. She wasn't lying when she said he was a something to her. He was. She couldn't be with him though. Didn't he understand that? Obviously he didn't, because the next thing the brunette knew, he was kissing her. 

And apparently she didn't understand that they couldn't be together either because instead of pushing him away, she let him kiss her. There was no fighting, none of that. She just gripped onto his shirt and pulled him to the wall, leaning up against it as their lips locked. What are you doing Oakley? Stop it. STOP. You can't. This isn't what you want. You have to quit. You HAVE to let go. He's just going to change your mind.... the voice in her head rambled on until she finally snapped back to reality. Pulling away, she looked up at him, confused at what had just happened. 

Looking down at her hands still grasping his shirt, she let go suddenly and sort of nudged him to turn back. "You...You need to um...You have a plane to catch, right?" she said. She was trying so hard not to just bring him in for another kiss, and the only way to do that was to turn him away. This was all too much. He was too much. 

[RYAN MITCHELL]

What are you doing Ryan? What in the world are you doing? One minute you want her, one minute you don't. She Doesn't want you.

This didn't stop him from kissing her. Showing her, whatever he was trying to show. There was nothing to show, but another let down. As Oakley pushed him away, Ryan already knew what was coming, his heart ached at it. Ryan stepped back along with her nudge, almost lessening the meaning of a nudge with how easy he took it.

With a wave of his hand in the middle of her sentence, a signal of "Don't even say anything.", Ryan turned around quickly, no look backs, no words, no anything and made his way back to his dorm. Ryan kept his head down, his eyes down and his hands shoved into his pockets mentally trying to wash away all of the thoughts, memories, pain ect. and replaced them with the fact that he needed to get to his dorm soon, so he could pack, and make his plans for Paris. He'd have to call his sister and deal with her. She'd probably never get to experience her brother actually being in a relationship ever again that's for damn sure.