((Miss American Dream))

[LYRIC HOLLIDAY]

Just got back from visiting Daddy. I know it shows weakness, and he doesn't approve of that, but I cried. I couldn't help it. The orange jumpsuit added to the hollow look in his eyes were the straw on the camel's back, and I started sobbing the moment I saw him. He tried to sound reassuring, ("It's okay, honey. Shhh.."), but...it just wasn't okay. Nothing could make this whole thing okay. 

I just want my dad back.

To stifle my emotions, I'm eating Lacey's chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream. She is going to kill me, but at least I will die momentarily satisfied by the creamy goodness. It's actually really nice living with Lacey. I love that girl to pieces. She's such a doll <3 Way better than Char and that whole situation, anyway...And as long as it's just between these faded pages and myself, her cooking is AMAZING. I just tease her to make her pissed, but I'm like in /love/ with her authentic Mexican food. Or whatever it is..

Easy Mac has nothing on her tamales. 

So..yeah. I'm settling in here nicely. I'm still half packed, but that could be because of the dresser that is waiting for this 'Simon' character to help us with, since Lacey's precious nails can't be put in danger, and I'm not strong enough alone. I don't blame her though, her nails look good. He'd better hurry up. I'm about ready to make Lacey help me. And I really don't want to pay for her nails. I'm gonna go raid the kitchen again. It's a wonder I'm not 500lbs with the way I eat. Dx

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[LYRIC HOLLIDAY]

What have I done?

I've become one of 'those' girls. The ones mothers warn their daughters to watch out for, and their sons to stay clear of. I ruined Blaine and Fairy's relationship. (wasn't that her name? It doesn't seem right...whatever~) I just wanted a drink with an attractive man who wouldn't try and run his hand up my dress before my drink was done. *cough Malcolm cough* And instead, I got a boyfriend, (or at the very least, a very steady fuck buddy), and was added to Flare's shit list. (that's not right either...) She looked pretty upset about it. Very genuine. Real tears and the whole nine yards...Blaine must have been a pretty good liar for her not to connect the dots together.

Is he worth it?

The sex is great, of course. I feel strangely like Lacey, having a man in the house at strange hours, or slipping away to his. Kissing in the dark allies, touching, whispering...it's like I'm fifteen again. That...emotional connection that keeps me running back for more. I'm addicted. Even just his name sends my pulse racing. He's a little rough around the edges, but I know he's not all stone. His last girl, Farrah, didn't give him enough attention. (obviously. And that's where I came in.) Maybe this could be good. Something fantastic could come out of this....

Nobody really thinks this is a good idea. I've gotten continuous shit for sleeping with him. But whatever...It's my life, right? There's only a few things that have actually gotten to me. Like the fact that Lacey doesn't approve. Technically, he's not allowed in the house. And by technically, I mean she's gone so far as to kick me out for a night and threaten to never let me back in through the door. But she's probably joking. I mean, she wouldn't actually kick me out. Would she?

I'm not really sure anymore.

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